Author: Jennifer

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Psalm 9:10 Part II – BMOC

Who do I think God is? He is love. I do believe this. But sometimes I get caught up thinking that I am not worthy. Not worth loving. I am certain that other people know Him and love Him, and He knows and loves them. But my self-esteem keeps me on the sidelines at times.

At times, I think of God as the Big Man On Campus, and I don’t have enough confidence to even hope to be noticed by Him. So I don’t approach. Or if I do get the courage, I fear I won’t be noticed or received or understood by Him.

But this isn’t true. THIS IS A LIE coming from the father of lies – Satan.

“See what a great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

THAT is the truth! He loves me in a generous and extravagant be-in-my-family kind of way!

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Psalm 9:10 – Part III – Big Buts

If you take the challenge of the Psalm 9:10 Part I post, you might end up in this boat with me. Character traits of God:

God is all-knowing.

God is all-powerful.

I immediately recognized two things. While I believe the statements to be true, I also know that I am guilty of attaching a but to each statement that ends up robbing me of peace and security in my heart.

He knows everything. Yes. BUT that means I must grieve Him often. He knows my purpose and He knows I’m not living up to it or fulfilling it. (Obviously, this is my fearful interpretation of what He knows.) He knows I doubt Him. He knows all my sins. He knows other people are doing a better job of living for Him than I am. Bottom line, He knows my failures and He is not happy.

He is all-powerful. Yes. But He doesn’t fix everything. There is suffering in the world. So why should I think He would bother to help me with my anxiety and panic attacks?

All the buts were getting in my way and keeping me from that beautiful sweet spot of security. They were like lead around my ankles preventing me from moving, keeping me stuck in anxiety.

What did I do about that? I did what you might need to do as you work to straighten out the truth you hold to in your thoughts about who God is. I did the work! I found five scriptures that showed what the Bible says is true about God so that I could shrink all the buts out of the picture.

Write down what is in your head. Sometimes the act of writing takes the knots out of your thoughts. PRAY for understanding. All of this will help you have a deeper understanding of the character trait you believe to be true yet it is being squashed by the buts.

Maybe you can relate to what I’m writing about in this post regarding all the buts. However, maybe your search will bring you to other tangles you need to undo. Do what it takes. Search your Bible (God’s very words, for goodness sake). Journal. Pray.

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SUPERHERO part I

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ” v. 35

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” vv. 37-38

Tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, sword – none of these can separate me from the love of God. In fact, I am more than a conqueror – through Jesus – in all of those horrible experiences. MORE than a conqueror? What is more than a conqueror? A super conqueror. A conqueror with superpowers, completely and overwhelmingly victorious!

Kind of like a SUPERHERO!!!

Because of that, nothing can separate me from Jesus. Not death. Not life. Not angels. Not demons. Not the present or the future. (I love that the past is not even worth mentioning!!!!) Not any powers. Not height or depth. NOTHING in all of creation can separate me from Jesus.

So why am I in an almost constant state of panic and anxiety these days? Because I’m not putting on my superhero cape and accessing my superhero powers. It’s that plain and simple. It comes down to a choice. Am I going to go about my day in fear of panic overwhelming me? Am I going to wear myself out trying to stay ahead of it? Or am I going to take this promise to heart and claim my cape?

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SUPERHERO part II – Ah-ha!

The day after reading and journaling my way through Romans 8:35-39, I knew I had not yet completely uncovered all that those verses have to say. I looked up all the Greek meanings for tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, and sword. As I looked over everything I’d discovered, I realized that of all of these very frightening situations, I do not deal with ANY of them on a regular basis. In fact, other than hardship, I have not actually experienced any of them.

My ah-ha moment was when I realized that I am prone to feeling an unhealthy amount of empathy. So although I have not personally experienced tribulation, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, or sword, I experience them in my mind when I watch the news or an action-packed movie, listen to the experience of a friend or family member, or read the newspaper. It’s like everything I am hearing or seeing is happening to me.

I also am easily hijacked in my brain by something called catastrophic thinking. It’s very easy for me to take a situation and imagine all of the what-happens-next moments leading to a very dismal ending. (Get a grip, woman!)

This was the Lord showing me some triggers. It was square-one for me because prior to that, I felt like I was hovering aimlessly with no hope of finding where to land on the path to freedom from the grip of anxiety. Hope is a mighty thing. And this revelation about myself made me eager to continue the walk toward deliverance from my anxieties. It is not going to happen overnight. But I was more than ready to get going on the journey.

“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

 

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Psalm 94:19

“In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.”

Well. Anxiety certainly has been great within me. And, knowing myself, I just might have anxiety in future seasons of my life as well. However, when there is an abundance of anxieties, this verse is a promise to me that He will comfort me in such a way, to such a capacity, that I will have joy.

That word delight is pretty interesting. The Hebrew translation means to be smeared over, blinded. In other words, when I am overwhelmed with anxiety, His comfort will be spread so thickly over me that I will be blinded to all of the disquieting thoughts that are causing my heart to pound as furiously as if I were literally running alongside all the thoughts racing through my head.

So how do I get that consolation? I learn to recognize when my inner self is in turmoil, and I bring all of it to the Lord. I make the conscious decision to give it over and trust that He will sort through all of it. He will delight my soul by putting blinders on it so that I can relax into the strength, wisdom, and peace He has for me. Who wouldn’t want that?

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