Author: Jennifer

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A New Name

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but one of power, love, and sound discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NASB

I looked up the definition of timid. Not that I didn’t know what it meant. But I was looking for a richer definition than the word or two going through my head.

timid – lacking self-assurance, courage, or bravery; easily alarmed, timorous, shy – Dictionary.com

Timid – my new middle name. Ok, let’s be honest, lately it’s more like my first name.

Then I went to my favorite app – Biblehub.org – for the Greek word and definition. Deilia. Isn’t that pretty? I actually threw it together with my last name just to see how it looked. The definition certainly fit:  cowardice, timidity, reticence. And really and truly, it flowed nicely with my last name. But is that REALLY the name I want?

NO. It’s a weak and fearful name! Do I want to be a cowardly fearful Deilia? Do I really want to be the one with the pounding heart sitting in the emergency room in the middle of the night so certain my life is about to end? Or the one who finds herself wanting to climb out of her skin far too often because of the fear crawling through her body? I think not.

And anyway, my Bible tells me that that is not my God-given name at all.

Dunamis Agape Sophronismos — THAT’S my name! And doesn’t that just sound strong?

So look at this scripture again.  “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but one of power, love, and sound discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NASB Check out the Greek for those bold words:

Dunamis – miraculous power, might, strength, ability

Agape – love, goodwill

Sophronismos – self-control, self-discipline, prudence; aptly acting out God’s will by doing what He calls sound reasoning

When I am feeling lost in my lack of ability and when I am so afraid my heart is about to pound its way out of my chest, I need to remember what my name is. God has given me His miraculous power and ability, love, self-control, and His sensible nature. I just need to take hold of it! Then, what in the world would be able to turn me back into cowardly fearful Deilia?

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Powerful Pacifier

I was thinking about how my sweet grandbaby has recently learned to fall asleep without being rocked and held. I’ve watched him do this. I’m envious! It seems like I’ve lost the ability to get into bed at the end of the day and just melt from the exhaustion of it all. My body will not relax. And I watch this little guy just slowly and contentedly drift off into dreamland. Why is he able to do this and I’m not?

Well, he isn’t hungry. He’s tired. He’s sitting in a little hammock that holds him securely in place and even gives off a soothing vibration. He’s got his favorite snuggly. He has no physical needs interfering with his tiredness. He’s at home. He’s with the people who love him and care for him and make him their number one priority. He hears their voices and knows they are near.

At the same time, these are the same people with whom he has experienced the painful head bonk due to a not-yet-developed neck trying to hold up his head. He’s experienced hunger at different times throughout the day not understanding that bottles require making. He’s been confused, waking in a completely different place than the place he fell asleep because he doesn’t realize that the world is bigger than his home. He’s been afraid in the middle of the night waking up alone in his crib not yet understanding that his mommy and daddy also need to sleep at night.

But because of the daily proven all-consuming love of his mommy and daddy, even as a little baby he knows he is taken care of. He’s experienced enough life with them to know they are his security. This is the confidence that comforts him into sleep.

God’s word and His “judgments of old” can be my confidence and comfort. His proven character recorded in the Old and New Testaments, as well as the memories of my own experiences with Him confirming Him to be faithful, can feed my soul so that I have no need or fear or worry that is rising up in me preventing me from rest in my waking hours and from sleep in the night.

“This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life.  I remembered your judgments of old, O Lord, and have comforted myself.”

Psalm 119: 50, 52

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Strong and Courageous

“Be strong and of good courage,” is said to Joshua, by God, three times in Chapter 1 of the book of Joshua. But Joshua is not being told just to buck up. God tells Joshua to be strong and have good courage, and He gives Joshua promises of great encouragement.

  1. “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life….. I will not leave you nor forsake you.” v. 5
  2. “…you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give to them.” v. 6
  3. . “….do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.” v. 7
  4. . “…for the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go.” v.9

After this, the officers of the Israelites tell Joshua to be strong and of good courage. They are telling him that they will follow his orders just as they had followed Moses. They have pledged by their very lives. And they urge him to be strong and of good courage.

God’s Holy Word spoke to me indeed this morning. I opened my Bible to finish journaling my musings about the first chapter in Joshua, and I noticed that I had underlined this repeated phrase – “be strong and of good courage” – each time it showed up. Who knows how long ago I did this and what was happening in my life at the time!?

Today it jumped right off the page. And boy did it hit home. The recent earthquakes have reminded me of how much fear I have of them and how that fear has always existed in me. “Be strong and of good courage,” the Lord is saying to me. Sometimes life will be dangerous, scary, hard. But just as he promised Joshua each time he told him to be strong and of good courage:

  1. He will never leave me or forsake me. He will walk with me through even a big scary earthquake.
  2. There is a prize awaiting me on the other side of this life.
  3. He has a way for me to go — following His laws of righteousness that will bring success to me as I live His way even in all the scary times.
  4. He is with me wherever I go.

Being strong and courageous – deciding to be strong and courageous – will enable me to stick to that path even now when the stability of the ground beneath me and the building that surrounds me can feel so unnervingly uncertain.

I must remember that being strong and courageous is a choice just like being scared and shaky is a choice. I want to remember to not let go of His hand in order to cover my eyes or plug my ears or reach out to feel my way in the darkness of my fear. I want to keep holding on to Him and to His promises. He is with me! ALWAYS!

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Wings

Today I felt like I was completely at the bottom. From the moment I woke up, it had a grip on me. I couldn’t find any energy, and I couldn’t find a reason to even have energy. It actually felt as though forcing myself to take the next breath and each breath after that was the only thing keeping me on this side of sanity.

As I fought my way through the day, it occurred to me that feeling this way – like I was hitting the bottom – should feel like the ultimate comfort. For you are no longer hovering or floating and having to sustain your place in thin air. But it didn’t. It was dark and scary. Everything seemed futile. My bones practically ached from the heaviness of it. From the bottom looking up, it seemed as though getting out of the pit would take a herculean effort.

Then I remembered that the wings of God are mentioned in the Bible as a sheltering place. A place of comfort, strength, and safety.

“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in you, and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge until these calamities have passed by.” Psalm 57:1

“How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.” Psalm 36:7

Although I wish it wouldn’t have taken me half a day to reach for my Bible, I was flooded with peace as I read through both of these verses. I don’t have to do my life alone. I’m not meant to suffer through the blues alone. And, most importantly of all, I don’t need to have it all together before I reach out to God. He will lift me up and shelter me in His wings.

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Psalm 9:10 – Part I

“Those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.”

So how do I grow my trust? This seems to me to be the area in which anxiety can either be lessened or increased. If what I know – or think I know – of God portrays Him as scary and undependable and harsh and uncaring, then my trust will be reluctant, false, or not there at all. I will be adding to my anxiety if my fear is of God and His ways.

Try this out. Be honest. It’s the only way to get your thinking straight. And since thoughts feed feelings, and feelings feed actions, it is of the utmost importance that we have true thoughts.

  1. Write down the character traits of God that you believe are true. Again, be honest!
  2. Compare that with the truth about who God is. Use a concordance or do a search online to see if you can find scripture to back up your idea of who He is.
  3. Take one misunderstood trait at a time and get to the bottom of it. WHY do you think that?
  4. Straighten out your thinking about that misunderstood trait. What is the truth? Find five Bible verses to prove it and then start clinging to the truth.

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