Jennifer • Handmade by God

Longings

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing – to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from … my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back.”

C.S. Lewis – Till We Have Faces

I, too, have felt a longing, as far back as I can remember. I am, and always have been, waiting for my life — the real part — to start. At times, this caused me to tune out and miss the beauty of the present moment, because I took it on myself to get that thing that would make my real life finally begin. And I spent a lot of years thinking that this real life was something here on earth. The right man, the right marriage, the perfect place to live, being able to stay at home and be financially set, etc. But all of this searching has always ended in disappointment, because I misunderstood the longing.

Now I see this dissatisfaction and yearning for more and better as something that was planted in me when God, as the psalmist wrote, formed all my inward parts. It’s a longing to go home. It’s a deep desire to be in the part of my life that will happen after this earthly vapor of a lifetime ends.

The trick now for me, is not to lose that longing, but also to not miss out on the beauty of the present. To merge the two. To allow this longing to add hope and meaning; color and shade; and definition and highlights to my present circumstances no matter what they are.

Curative Capacity

Swords can cause physical bleeding, pain, scars, loss of limb, and death. They are sharp. Cutting. Extremely painful. They require training and practice to be used properly and effectively with precision, aim, and strength. They are used defensively and offensively. They save lives. They end lives.

Words also can cause emotional bleeding, pain, scars, loss of limb, and death. The bleeding of a heart that is breaking, the pain from a searing comment, the scars of verbal abuse, the loss of trust, and the end of a relationship are all the result of words. And words, just like swords, are used defensively and offensively saving lives and ending lives.

We use them every day. But are we thinking about what happens because of our precision and our aim? Anyone who has been stabbed by a sword requires medical attention. And anyone who has been wounded by words suffers from a loss of well-being, strength, and wholeness, and needs to be covered with a soothing balm.

There are lots and lots of walking wounded all around us. They have been the unfortunate recipient of some piercing words that have caused damage and pain. The wounds are not visible to the eye like a bleeding cut or a missing arm. But they are still there. They show up as depression, anger, fear, unreasonableness, rudeness, isolation, sullenness, addictions, hopelessness, etc. The list of symptoms is quite long and is often misinterpreted.

It’s time to become healers instead of word-wielding terrorists. Instead of using judgment as the aim, use compassion. Look around. Start identifying wounds and administering healing remedies with words of kindness, gentleness, and grace. And you can know that you have been a curative force in someone’s life.

“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise promotes health.”

Proverbs 12:18

Inside Out

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel — rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3,4

In other words, don’t just spend time trying to look good on the outside. Work on the inside — the place nobody but God sees. Make it a point to be adorned with a mild, gentle, tranquil, and peaceful spirit. This is of great value and is very precious in God’s eyes. After all, He’s not giving me a thumb’s up for what I look like. It’s the inside that matters.

All the makeup, hairstyles, clothes, jewelry, hair color, anti-wrinkle creams, shoes, and purses are really not much more than decorations. This made me think of Christmas trees! All the decorations hanging on them do nothing to make that tree be a tree. They just temporarily give the tree some unnatural character. Character that has absolutely nothing to do with the tree.

They don’t enhance the tree or make the tree more tree-like. In fact, all the decorations take away from the tree and the tree itself is not noticed anymore. Sometimes branches get damaged or broken, and eventually the tree just ends up dying because it’s been uprooted to be the center of attention.
That’s how all my “outward adornment” (decorations) work too. They end up hiding my inner self. They damage me because I begin to place more emphasis on all of that than on who I am on the inside. The adornments have nothing to do with having a gentle and quiet spirit. They’re all temporary. Fashions change. Hair grows out. Color fades. Skin loses its elasticity and gets wrinkles.
My spirit , on the other hand, is eternal.

Giddy Up!

To wake up each day knowing I am loved deeply and unconditionally by God is something I want to be consciously reveling in. He adores me. He’s CRAZY about me!

So no more waking up annoyed that it’s time to get up. Instead I need to stretch, wiggle my toes, yawn the sleep out of my body, and feel His love embracing me until I’m giddy! Then, with all that goodness flowing through me, ask Him to show me each step of the day. And after that, climb out of bed ready for anything and everything, knowing He is with me.

“Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in you do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk; for I lift up my soul to you.” Psalm 143:8

Room for Two

“…pray without ceasing…”
1 Thessalonians 5:17

I know my limitations on how much talking and listening I can pull off. And I typically stay in my lane as they say. Because when I don’t, I am completely drained and exhausted by an excess of either one.

So how does someone like me pray without ceasing? God created me, and that means He designed me this way. I think it’s safe to say He made some of us – like me – to be introverts and others to be extroverts. But how do I be me and still be able to live in a close relationship with Him?

Going to the Greek definition for proseuchesthe (pray), the word means to interact with the Lord by switching human wishes, or ideas, for His wishes as He imparts faith. And this verse says to do this without taking any unnecessary breaks.

Sometimes my wishes and ideas are spoken out loud to Him. But the rest of the time they are swimming around in my head. My mind seems to never stop working!

So I don’t think praying without ceasing means that I’m to be carrying on a stream of constant chatter with Him all day long. I think it simply means that in addition to the purposeful conversational times I have with Him, I am to be conscious that He is with me in my thoughts.

My mind, unlike my voice, doesn’t ever seem to stop unless I’m asleep. And part of praying unceasingly is recognizing that whatever thoughts I have, I am having in His presence. So realizing this is true …

Shouldn’t this naturally result in giving thanks more often and a lot more promptly?
Shouldn’t the sense of the need for forgiveness be immediate?
Shouldn’t this make fear instantaneously become the recognition of having the powerful almighty God with me?
Shouldn’t worry instantly become confident assurance?
Shouldn’t this allow for the repair of pain or sadness the instant it begins?

Fortunately, my waking hours don’t have to be a ceaseless jibber-jabber with God. Instead, I am to have a constant awareness that He is with me all the time, closer than anyone could be. He’s just waiting for me to make some space for Him.