Dad’s Home

My dad is no longer here on Earth with us.  He is gone.  Gone — almost like he was when I was growing up.  He was often away from home on business trips.  He was gone.  Somewhere else.  Well, the same is true now.  He has gone somewhere else.  Heaven.  And when I dwell on that fact, I find great comfort (and a little envy as well)!

When I was growing up, if my dad was in Monterey, California — one of the places he used to travel to for business — I would be able to picture that.  I’d been there myself, so I knew what it looked like.  If my dad was in Ohio — another place he often went to on business trips — I would have had to find books  with pictures and descriptions of the place, because I’d never been there.  But I would have been able to get a pretty good idea of what Ohio was like.

My dad is in Heaven.  I have never been there.  But I do have a book that tells me about it.  My Bible.  I will admit that a lot of it (the parts about Heaven) are confusing.  I think that’s because Heaven is so hard to describe with human words. 

But this is what I am confident of:  He is present with the Lord.

“So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord.  For we walk by faith, not by sight.  We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.” (II Corinthians 5:6-8)

He is dwelling in the house of the Lord.   

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6)

He is living in complete and perfect health.  He will never experience pain again. He will never be sad again.  He will never cry again. 

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

My dad is still who he was.  Same personality.  He is just now in Heaven instead of here with us.  So…

He’s busy greeting people with his smile and finding out everything about them.  He’s having indescribably happy reunions with family and friends.  He’s singing with the Heavenly choir.  He’s tending to the gardens.  He is playing with the children.  He’s learning.  He’s running.  He’s laughing.

He’s finally seeing himself as God has always known him.  And all the layers of regret and the limitations of sin and imperfections are gone!  He is worshiping God.  He’s in awe of the beauty around him just as he was awed by nature here on Earth.  He’s happy!  He is complete.

I miss him so much.  But as long as I remember where he is and the fact that I will see him again, I can bear the temporary loss of him much easier.  And like I already said, I’m a little envious!

Healing for the Brokenhearted

“He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3

I feel brokenhearted right now — since my dad passed away.  My heart has been deeply wounded.  It is healing.  But it’s still very tender, and sometimes I have wondered if it will ever recover.

I found this promise today.  Psalm 147:3 tells me that God will heal my broken heart.  And until it is healed, He will bind it up.  He’ll bandage it so that it holds together while it is healing.  It’s not an immediate healing.  It’s a process.  But He’s in it from the beginning until the end.

Think of what a bandage does…

  • Some of the pain is relieved just from wrapping a wound.
  • It’s protected, because the bandage acts as a shield from further injury.
  • It’s put in the proper position to allow for healing.
  • It allows for the careful use of the part of the body that is wounded.

My heart is broken right now.  Yet…

  • I sense God’s tender wrapping relieving some of that pain.
  • His bandage is protecting my heart from further damage when I get stuck in a flashback of dad’s difficult last days.
  • I know He has set my heart in its proper place in order to begin healing.
  • My heart will still be able to be moved and touched.   I just have to be mindful of the state it’s in.

My heart will heal.  It will have a scar to serve as a reminder of the wonderful dad I was blessed with.  But it will heal!

It All Added Up – Finally

Thought number 1:
Last April, my pastor preached this message:

Live your life knowing that you know there is the other side… that all this is temporary… that life in perfect love awaits…  that our faith will one day be sight.

Thought number 2:  
A few days later as I was driving to an evening meeting after being at school from 7:15 until 5:30, I felt (as I’d been feeling for so long) that I didn’t have enough space in my days to just complete a thought.  I couldn’t complete my thoughts because my energy was so taken by the work day, things that needed to be done at home, in relationships, etc.  This created frustration in all areas of my life, but especially because I didn’t feel like I had enough energy to really read my Bible and dissect it like I used to. All of these other things in my life were robbing me of the energy I needed to be able to truly study my Bible and to have a completed thought at the end.   That left me with the feeling that I could not be as close to God as I was when I had time for thinking, reading, and writing. I felt as if my hectic life was holding me back from experiencing and knowing God.

And then I combined those two thoughts:

And  it occurred to me that my life and my relationship with God are NOT two separate things.  I experience God in my life. That’s where our relationship exists!   Not just in my free time.  That whole misconception of needing free time in order to know Him and experience Him is what was tripping me up.

He is with me always.  I experience Him as I teach.  As I see my students with love and with an ache to help them.  As I see their humor, feel their frustration, anger, joy, disappointments, fear.  As I offer an encouraging word.  I experience Him at home when I have good advice for my daughters (that I know came from the Lord and not from me) and when my daughters do something beyond nice just to make my day easier.   I experience God in every situation in which I interact with other people.

And this was the conclusion:
Yes, I still need quiet time.  And, yes, I need time of no distractions leaving me with energy to focus on only Him.  But those are not my only defining moments with Him.  The subject matter I ponder and write about  is what I’m experiencing in my every moment and how I make sure to include Him in those every moments.

I am one person living one life.  And if I live it consciously recognizing that there is another side — if I live in that great hope — then all my moments will have great meaning.  Not just my solitary-unlimited-time-of-no-interruptions moments.  And my relationship with God will continue to grow and deepen.

Prisoner of Peace

My brain is sometimes crowded with disquieting thoughts. It’s a racket in there! These thoughts keep me awake at night and make it difficult for me to concentrate on anything else during the day. There are so many of them. And they are all shouting for my attention. They are telling me I should be afraid. They are encouraging me to worry. They fill me with a sense of foreboding.

But right there … right in the middle of all that distress … is His comfort. Because that’s where His comfort is….”in the multitude of my anxieties within me”.

His comfort is the strength that allows me to overcome my fears and worries. His quiet reassurance within me prevails over the noise of the anxiety. His peace overpowers the disturbance within me. He sets me free from distress, and I am instead captivated by His consolation.

“In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul.” Psalm 94:19

 

The Condition of Your Heart

“A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,   But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”  Proverbs 15:13

In other words… A heart whose predominant tendency is joy to the point of laughter, mirth, festivity, and hilarity, spills over onto my outsides giving me a face full of cheer.

But a heart full of distress due to loss, affliction, disappointment, grief, sadness, and regret will smash, split, divide into parts, and violently reduce my spirit to pieces and fragments.

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