Category: Overcoming Anxiety and Panic

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Uncle Already!

I have woken up, far too many times lately, with a pounding heart.  And with no memory of a nightmare that would have caused it. Here it was again, and it was a morning I’d signed up to volunteer at my church.   As I lay there trying to breathe slowly and evenly, the pounding only increased. Not again, I thought!

It seemed that the best plan was to ignore it and just start getting ready.  Clothes on, makeup on, hair in a ponytail, I was ready to go. Meanwhile, pounding, pounding, pounding, to the point of discomfort.  Pulling into the church parking lot, it became clear that my pounding heartbeat had beat me and won. I couldn’t take it anymore. Fear gripped me as I made my way right back out of the parking lot and headed toward the closest emergency room.  A place I’d been already twice in the past year for the same exact reason.

It felt so uncontrollable, so scary, so awful.  And as I write about it, my heart is once again pounding in a very uncomfortable way.  It’s no less unnerving than it ever is, but it is something I am just starting to get used to and to think of as a nuisance rather than a critical situation. 

All of the test results showed it was nothing but a panic attack after spending just a few hours in the ER. And once again, the benefits of counseling, medication, and meditation were explained to me. After receiving a comforting dose of Ativan, I left the hospital and spent the next several hours in a calm and peaceful sleep.  When I woke up, I vowed to myself to take on the beast – whatever it was – that was wreaking so much havoc in me.

For the next several weeks, while trying to find a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist who would at least return my call, I searched for scripture verses on anxiety and panic and found so many amazing promises reminding me that Jesus is by my side through all of this. As well, I made some very deep discoveries about myself.  This has been exciting – feeling the guiding hand of the Lord revealing my heart to me. 

It is my prayer that these verses from God’s Holy Word will help someone, who like me, lives in fear of the next attack. Counseling is so important. (A wonderful counselor finally returned my call!) Medication has been helpful too. But the very One who created me and knows me by heart has responded to my cry for help. He will respond to you too if you just ask and put the time in to listen and respond.

 

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Spring Cleaning

“Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that you may be exalted in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”   1 Peter 5:6,7

In other words, be fully dependent on God so that you may be uplifted in due time, having thrown all your care, worry, and anxiety upon Him, for He cares about you.

Lots of things get put away every day, such as socks in the second drawer of my dresser, the make-up tray in the bottom shelf of the bathroom cabinet, the juicer in the cabinet above the sink, cooking utensils in the red ceramic utensil bucket next to the stove, keys in the front pocket of my purse, graded papers in the out basket.  All these things have their place.  It’s the place they belong. The place that makes sense as far as what each item is.

I don’t hem and haw in my mind when I put those and so many other day to day items away.  They just have their logical place and I don’t have to waste a minute of my life agonizing over where I should put them.

I need to be just like that with my cares and worries and things that make me anxious.  As soon as one pops up, I need to put it away in the place it belongs rather than fret over what should be done about it.  Instead of getting all mentally and emotionally tripped up, I need to straighten up my mind just like I straighten up my kitchen and bathroom and classroom in order to avoid clutter and confusion and wasted time looking for misplaced items.  I need to give all my worries and things that cause anxiety over to His care because that is right where they belong.

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Empower the Impossible

A dad, who had watched his son suffer for years, was asking Jesus to have compassion and heal the boy.  Jesus’ response was, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” 

To which the man cries out with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

I can relate to that man so well!  I believe God can do anything.  Absolutely anything.  He created all things that exist.  There is nothing He cannot do.  But when it comes to something very personally important to me, my faith falters and sometimes fails.  

But Jesus said that if you have the power within to be able to believe, ALL THINGS have the power to be possible when you have faith in Him.  All you have to have is the ability to believe… to have faith in His ability.

So what I need to do is build up my faith muscle just like I build up my leg muscles in order to be able to endure a difficult run.  My faith muscle must be worked on regularly in order to grow strong enough to lift the really heavy things – with ease – up to God fully knowing He can do it.  Whatever it is!

EMPOWER THE POSSIBLE
and when you’ve built up enough faith muscle
EMPOWER THE IMPOSSIBLE
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Sleeping Covered

Too many times in the middle of the night I find myself awake and unable to just relax.  My brain won’t quit.  It’s unstoppable in its determination to keep me from sleep as it plans and prepares and worries.  Fear of the known and the unknown consume me from head to toe, and I end up wishing so badly to be a kid again, able to go to bed with no worries about my safety, my future, or my needs.  I long to go back to the time when I had nothing to lose sleep over.  Back to when my mom and dad had me covered.

 

Lying in the dark, making my best attempt at becoming calm, this question often enters my mind.  Why can’t I trust the Lord – my heavenly Father – to take care of me?

 

I think I now know why.  I’m not “becoming as a little child.”  I’m being a grownup who knows enough to be scared of the world… A grownup who tries very hard to be responsible and careful and prepared…  A grownup who’s lost the ability to put my faith, unconditionally, like a small child, in someone who’s always taken care of me and has always planned for my well-being.  

 

Sleep should be the easy part of each of my 24 hours.  It used to be!  So I’m going to practice being a little child who doesn’t spend even a second wondering if anyone is watching over me.  I’m going to go to bed peaceful and content in my heart, confident that God is awake and has His eye on me now and forever.  He’s got me covered.

 

“Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.’”

Matthew 18:2,3

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Above and Beyond Peace of Mind – Part 2

Now that I have really worked through what exactly the peace of Christ is (“Above and Beyond Peace of Mind – Part 1), I have a far better understanding of where I was originally going with this verse. During my first writing, I casually brushed over that phrase.  But once I really started digging into it, it became clear to me that I needed to be able to adequately explain why His peace is so completely peaceful.

And all of the thinking and searching and googling and concordance checking was more than worth it. Now I have something concrete in my mind — reasons why the peace of Christ is so outrageously exceedingly great that it surpasses understanding.

But I must add one more very cool thing I discovered while studying this verse. And that is this… I looked up the Hebrew word for rule and discovered that it means to act as umpire.  And so I asked a baseball expert to tell me what exactly an umpire does.  This is what he told me.  An umpire does all of the following:
rules on fair balls and foul balls
calls balls and strikes
calls players safe or out
controls the flow and tempo of the game
controls player and coach behavior
uses discretion
calls interference
makes “on the fly” decisions
makes judgment on plays
determines strike zone
gives warnings
throws people out if necessary

So, if I let the peace of God do its job, I’d find that it would control my heart by informing me when my thoughts or actions are foul.  It would allow me to determine healthy boundaries. It would set the pace in all my circumstances. It would guide my behavior and my reaction to the behavior of others.  It would warn me when I was getting into something that would bring me harm.  It would keep me steady. It would give me the wisdom in situations that called for an immediate response. It would give me the discretion I need in order to stay peaceful.   I would have peace of mind rather than the free-for-all fighting that goes on within me at times.

He sees the whole game.  Me and everyone else.  He’s fair.  He’s completely qualified.  He is the final authority.  So if I notice a loss of peace in my heart, then the peace of Christ (the umpire) is just doing it’s job.

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